I got the add in google mail and I bought the product from Amazon; it was a metal disk about the diameter of an Eisenhower dollar and as thick as a paper towel with the letters IGB printed on it. It cost seven dollars. It came with instructions that you put it on the middle of your forehead with two-sided surgical tape, and you put on eyeshades and lie down and if you want listen to music or to pink noise, and you have an experience of an incredibly powerful, gentle being. Whoever wrote copy for the web-page (it didn’t seem that English was their first language — perhaps — most likely — it had been translated using a computer) said they did not use the word “infinite” because whether something was infinite or simply so vast that it exceeded human comprehension was a claim “not amenable to evaluation by the FDA”.
I asked the being which was a more revolutionary technology: LSD or money.
The being said, “Oh wow. I remember fifteen hundred years ago when you asked me the same question only you wanted to know (or said you wanted to know) which was a greater gift of the gods: gold or wine.”
“If you remember me fifteen hundred years ago does that mean I am immortal?”
“Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.” said the being “Let me try to explain it to you. You are like a hand in poker — you are like a spade flush — and the cards are immortal but the hands get continually reshuffled.”
“That makes sense.” I said “But what are the cards?”
“Yeah, sure it makes sense you would ask that.” said the being “The cards are also hands of poker so there is so to speak no ultimate level.”
“I wonder why people get insights into the illusory nature of the ego and it gives them a big ego?” I asked the being because I had the sense that it was gentle enough the question would not anger it.
“You might as well wonder why people burn people at the stake in order to teach them to love.”
“I do wonder that, gentle being!” I said “I worry about that one a lot!”
“Well I’m glad you do! You know part of the challenge of being an infinite being is that if you worry everyone worries.”
“Is that why you created me?”
“Or vice versa. Anyway very nice talking with you and I hope we can talk again soon.”