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SEVEN CANDIDATES FOR THE POST OF VP OF HUMAN RESOURCES

There are seven candidates for the post of vice-president of human resources.

The first upon first blush is quite the people person, and is so lively and excited by each person she meets that you might fear that she is giving herself to her job with too much emotionality.  Upon deeper inspection though you realize that this is a mask she adopts from fear, if you look in her eyes in unguarded moments you realize her only wish from her fellow human-beings is to be let alone, and she is as profoundly uninterested in humanity as a rock or a pond.

The second claims to be motivated by a wish for social justice, but these are simply phrases she learned by rote.

The third will be happy to admit to being boring; but he hides the fact that this boredom comes from sadism; angry at having his fellows inflicted upon him he resolved at an early age to give no pleasure to anyone.

The fourth claims to be ashamed of his failings.  You would think that beneath this shame is perhaps pride, but the situation is far worse — beneath the shame is simply inertia, a mindless parroting of the slogans of others.

The fifth has a nervous aesthetic temperament but is entranced by only the filthiest aspects of his own personality; no other meat is as sweet to his debauched tongue.  Sadly even his worst imagined crimes and most sordid fantasies are entirely unoriginal.

The sixth has no idea the depth of his dishonesty: he knows his words are lies, but is unaware that his every feeling, every gesture, every breath, and even the motions of his internal organs all have a note that rings false.

The seventh is quite simply a JIVE-ASS TURKEY!

These are the seven candidates for the post of vice-president of human resources.

 

 

(after  F. Kafka)

 

 

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