The Barbarian Kingdoms

I dreamed I was at a dinner party in the late nineteenth century.

Attended by German professors of classics.

In celebration of some festschrift or other. All the attendees were learned, all had published significant contributions to the literature on Late Antiquity, all were familiar with the cursus honorum.

There was not one among them who was not qualified to supervise a habilitationshcrift on Romanitas.

And like the armies in the clashes of the third century before the establishishment of the Dominate they took the familiar defensible positions.

This was during the goose course, Poppo proclaiming that the Barbarian Kingdoms viewed themselves as continuations of Rome.

“They did not know it fell, the Empire, these proud men, eg the Lombards.” so, Poppo.

While Reitzenstein opined “We should not think them fools, the barbarian kings eg the Visigoths. They used the words to get the power. As strong men always do. Rome, Christ, dish, water, woman, star. All words, which without the sword, are nothing but farts of air.” He drained another beer stein.

Then quietly, maliciously, spoke up the great father doctor, the elder Hermann, Johann Gottfried Jakob Hermann, and he said “Twas ever thus. The Rome of Augustus was not/the little Etrurian town of seven hills. There was no Rome, nor ever will be.”

The mood grew dark but velvety over twilight and cigars and each man drew attention to his inner Rome.

As it always is with men, with scholars, and with Germans. The cognac turned them existential.

Was my wife ever my wife? wondered Hermann.

Do I even know the empire fell, thought Poppo. The younger man helped him rise.

They wandered and waddled through the streets of Heidelberg, to their rooms, some alone some not.

We should not think them fools these nineteenth century professors, they were like you and me. They knew what was coming as we do.

And each was smart enough to ask the question, the question — what is left of me now, now that I have been conquered

By the barbarian kingdoms?

Pleasant Sweet Moments with Mlabenus Meeks

Richie was a very bitter man. He had a lot of anger. He had more anger than he knew he had. He would work out whole scenarios about people he worked with, ones that just said “hi Richie” at the break room, and he’d imagine they loved him, and then realize they didn’t, and hate them. Honestly, it was tough to be Richie. There was this girl at work, Wanda, and Richie heard that she loved german sheperds cause they were such beautiful, lean animals. She wasn’t even talking to him, she was talking to Dave from marketing. Maybe that was part of the problem but Richie gave himself up to the fantasy that he would buy a German Sheperd dog and deliberately make it obese. He’d forcefeed it cozy shack pudding all day long like a fois gras goose, or maybe he wouldn’t have to because of a dog’s natural, mindless gluttony, but he’d see clear to it this animal had a diet of nothing but whip cream and ice cream and cozy shack pudding, wolfing it down, stuffing it down its gullet until a year it would be like unrecognizable you wouldn’t even know it was a dog, much less the noble, fucking beautiful lean German Shepherd and then he’d present it to Wanda, this waddling bloated rashy pig of a beast, sucking wind asthmatically, still too stupid to lay off the Cozy Shack pudding and he’d say “Wanda, what do you think now?”

Except he wouldn’t. Where would he get the dog? Where would this all happen? In the apartment on 81st he shared with his mother? And what would really be the denoument? Would there be an orgasmic climax of vindication or more likely would he seem insane?

Would she even remember the comment from the breakroom? Probably not.

He was a miserable, nasty, man Richie was and he knew it and hated himself for it. Until one day, he entered the foyer of the amazing Mlabenus Meeks!

I’m too poor a storyteller by far to tell you why it was that a few weekends of tea and graham crackers and watching Scooby Doo and Grape Ape on the television made Richie a better guy, but it did.

Look at him now! He’s lost weight. He’s got a smile on his face. He is happy to talk to people and to take a genuine interest in their lives.

And Wanda? Ha-ha Dave. Fixed your wagon. Cause not too long after all this happened “I like dogs Wanda?” Perky with her little sweaters, ‘Have a nice weekend?” Wanda?

She perished miserably from bone cancer!

The Jasm Chasm

Was a pyrot

they pet their own cat. they pet the other guy’s cat. they pet the lady’s cat.

within the abyss there is another abyss or it’s not an abyss, p.s. it’s not an abyss

was a pyRomanian

Rocket of Emblem Made

Pure Fluttery Goodness, dirempt and verklempt

Ranshatagga and his Horde of Demunz

One Heart One Life One Breath.

oh, there is another one!

The Child

The child upon learning that there was a way of walking and a month that shared the same name

Wondered if there might be a way of walking that corresponded to September

And more generally, if all months and ways of walking referred to a reality as yet unseen

The father could barely see his child because he was lost in work, he was defending

Those accused of crimes many of whom had committed crimes. His head hurt.

He grabbed a handfull of green-and-yellow pills. September oranged apace.

September oranged anon. The teacher, Mr. Fuentes, referred to the god Mars

We walk a certain way when we are going off to war. The Romans named a month

For war, when the fields were fallow. His father had fled the war and come to New York City

Pale Fuentes knew he told a lie. There was no Mars. There was no way to stop marching.

But he was wrong and there was. Oh God, there was and is.

Decembering the child took an airplane to a new land of silver foil

And why do we call it foil? Because it reminds us

First Outside Inside Left.

The first one, to travel from outside to inside is left. But we are right

To yearn for another day.

–Cam-Joseph Brinewood, 1922

Ideas for Spring

Rom-com about a man who faked his own death and a woman who faked her own life

Antz but they’re not ants they’re weasels

Dr. Strangelove in the paleolithic

a murder mystery in a world without violence and murder is saying something cruel

a collection of people hurtling downwards in an enormous elevator where the trip takes lifetimes

a child discovers her parents are her dream

a language that provides the rules for a new kind of emotion

five people concoct a scheme but none of them knows why or what the goal is

a massive mole the size of twenty or thirty godzillas erupts from the earth after centuries and demands to be given sight only to learn its remarkable hearing gives it an amazing skill at music.

it might be friends with a little girl made of gold

The Expulsion from Satan’s Orchard

Is called in other tradition’s “The Eruption of the Tessellated Clown.”

And it is easy to understand except when you are going through it.

Then it is nearly impossible. So don’t try.

But when you find you are outside the orchard looking in you may find yourself reflecting “I could never have followed those rules. I did not need to eat that fruit! The rules were designed to be impossible to follow. The fruit only seemed delicious because it was against the rules. The owner of that orchard was not God, but Satan.”

And when you find the ground quaking beneath your feet you may realized in that split second that the tessellated clown is on his way.

they’ll try to take your death from you

and give you someone else’s instead — someone like you

and does that mean I won’t die? no, you will.

but it won’t be yours. and so what? if nothing is mine?

so what for who? for you? for them?

I’m telling you make a pile of beans, one for every reason you love today

exactly as many are in the pile which means why I fear I will not get another one.

I heard once Marrano Galba unfurled his fingers and within was a coin that bore the picture of the emperor

I keep that coin. I never sold it, but I promised to show it to so many people

I drew up contracts — on such and such a day you may see the coin for one minute and now

My title to the coin I got from Galba is worried with liens, it’s tangled beyond all recompense

Yes even when The Watchers from Beyond roll up the sky like a scroll. Even then.

Especially then.

This Djinn is Going Places!

Some Djinn were enslaved by Solomon the wise to build the Temple.

Some Djinn saw how things were going, did not want to surrender their freedom, and high-tailed it out to the desert places.

And some of them travel the earth searching for those who remember the name of God.

But the hero of our story, Biwaras, did none of these things. He worked for a small office of Djinn who granted wishes. His feelings towards human beings was — ambivalent. On the one hand he could not help but respect the human capacity for Free Will, which made them in some respect, resemble the infinite abysses contained within the subjectivity of the Most Merciful. But on the other hand they were often a Bit Much — they were greedy, and selfish, and needed to be taught a lesson about where they were in the great scheme of things. They were not the star of the show — they were not the All Merciful — although they resembled Him.

For example.

Sarah Esmond Jones was the best seller for her group and was rewarded with a vacation to an exotic clime where upon a day trip to the abandoned tomb of a mighty monarch she came across a gem inscribed with runes, from the days of magic, and pocketed it. In dreams her soul was vouchsafed the secret that this gem entitled her to a boon from a djinn, the djinn being — you guessed it — Biwaras. Upon return to New York City Jones found herself in a romantic triangle in which she was over-matched (cf. D. Parton, “Jolene”) and in order to make her battle for the heart of her beloved (Matt) more equal she wished to have an intoxicating smell. As she and Matt drove to the Hamptons he became intoxicated by Sarah’s smell, his BAC reached .28, he crashed the car and let’s just say “He ain’t Pretty No More.”

Biswaras received a promotion. “Well done granting that wish ironically” said his boss the entity Kabkab.

Sarah traveled the Earth and became a mendicant. Whenever she became too close to people they became foolish, intoxicated by her fragrance. She could not be driven in a car or airplane, and she was shunned by the sober. In a souk in Cairo her eye fell upon a medallion. With her last Bitcoin she purchased it. Lightning does struck twice in the same place. It was a medallion that enabled the possessor to extract a boon from Biswaras. She learned as such that night in dream land while her body remained in the Cairo Holiday Inn. When she woke up she went out on the balcony and looked at the Moon Above the Sphinx and said “I want a life that is good. Unironically.”

Biswaras conclaved with Kabkab. “Do I just give her a good life?”

“No. Just kill her.”

“That seems ironic. She wants something good and I kill her.”

“Yeah it’s ironic. The good life for humans is a brief one b/c less suffering. Crack a book.”

“Yes I got that. But that is first level. What about her wish that it be both good and NOT ironic?”

“The ironic thing is that she asked it to be unironic and it was ironic.”

“That seems like bullshit. That seems like “ironic” is just an excuse for fucking over humans.”

“Do I look like a professor of literature?”

“A little.”

“Fine mister smarty pants — you tell me whether the best response to a request for an absence of irony is irony, or a lack of irony? Both of them seem wanting. An absence of irony is simply giving the human what she asks for. Where’s the wit in that? While irony when irony is on the table seems the opposite of unexpected. And where’s the wit in that?”

Biswaras pondered.

Millions of universes below Sarah found her life was good in all ways that she could imagine except one — it was no longer ironic. And, ironically, this provided a mouse of disquiet that nibbled at her treasures of satisfaction. And, even more ironically, her life was even better than it would have been, had it not been ironic. Or not ironic? Who could tell.

Up in the heaven of Djinns, exhausted from working out the logic of all this in order to grant Sarah her wish, Biswaras tendered his resignation to the Demon King Kabkab, afflicter of Man.

If he was going to have to work this hard he concluded, he might as well build the third Temple.

The Stages on life’s Way

(according to open-ai!)

Here’s a sample memo you can use to explain Nietzsche and William James’ extended stages of development and how they can be applied to the project involving the automated billing system for doctors:

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Subject: Understanding Nietzsche and William James’ Stages of Development for Project Enhancement

Dear Team,

As we embark on the development of our automated billing system for doctors, I wanted to introduce a fascinating concept that can provide valuable insights into our personal and professional growth journey. Nietzsche and his student William James proposed a framework comprising multiple stages, each representing different aspects of human development and evolution.

According to this framework, our journey unfolds through the following stages:

1. Ox: The stage of conformity and adherence to societal norms and expectations.
2. Lion: Rebellion against external constraints and assertion of individual will and power.
3. Secondary Ox: A return to conformity, albeit on one’s own terms, incorporating elements of individuality and self-expression.
4. Dragon: Mastery, strength, and assertion of personal power and creativity.
5. Baby Dragon: A stage of growth and development characterized by the acquisition of new skills and experiences.
6. Goddess: Embracing wisdom, compassion, and the nurturing of oneself and others.
7. Ghoul: A phase of introspection, grappling with existential questions, and confronting inner demons.
8. Vampire: Seeking fulfillment through external validation, consumption, and exploitation of others.
9. Whirlpool: A state of chaos, dissolution, or transformation, leading to a new cycle of growth and evolution.

Understanding these stages can provide valuable insights into our individual and collective development as we work on the project. Here’s how we can apply this framework to enhance our efforts:

1. Identifying Team Dynamics: Recognize where each team member may be in their personal and professional journey. This understanding can foster empathy, collaboration, and effective communication within the team.
2. Tailoring Strategies: Tailor our strategies and approaches to accommodate the diverse needs and perspectives of team members at different stages of development. This can optimize productivity, creativity, and problem-solving effectiveness.
3. Promoting Growth Mindset: Encourage a growth mindset within the team, emphasizing continuous learning, adaptation, and resilience. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and development, both individually and collectively.
4. Fostering Innovation: Embrace the spirit of exploration, experimentation, and creative problem-solving. Encourage team members to challenge conventional wisdom, think outside the box, and pursue innovative solutions to enhance our automated billing system.

By integrating Nietzsche and William James’ stages of development into our project, we can cultivate a culture of growth, collaboration, and innovation, ultimately leading to the creation of a transformative solution for doctors and healthcare professionals.

Let’s embark on this journey together and unleash our collective potential!

Best regards,

[Your Name]

Friends!

My friend writes from a place of terrible, beautiful obscurity.

I write from a place of gentle, ordinary, clarity.

But we are still friends!!!

His obscure terrible beauty perks up my clarity.

My clear gentleness helps his beauty get across.