Dracula vs. The Robot


“How shall we defeat The Robot?” Dracula asked Renfield.

“I don’t know master!”

“He has no blood that I may drink. He has no soul, that I may damn! He has no fear of the creatures of the night! The bat cannot bite through his aluminum hide, nor the wolf rend his steel pistons!”

“I know, Master!”


“The vampire cannot be destroyed by us X-2311J! I run the sub-routines again and again and I cannot reach vampire=dead!”


“We have no stakes, we have no crosses, we have no sunlight, we have no running water. All we have is logic and data. And against this Prince of Darkness these weapons are as nought! Do you see a flaw in my reasoning or fly in my algorithm?”



Dracula and the Robot took to the sea in a beautiful pea green boat. They glared at each other across the gunwales.

The Count turned into a bat.

The Robot proved how the universe came to be, from a finite number of principles and how, given those principles it would eventually resolve back into nothingness.

The Count turned back.

The Robot trailed his manipulators wistfully in the surf.


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