Christopher Robin

SPOILER ALERT — this essay contains spoilers about the Disney Film “Christopher Robin”

I went to the Disney film Christopher Robin and it was Extremely Offensive.

It has Christopher Robin be an old man who loses the Childlike Wonder of Life and he has to go back to Hundred Acre woods to meet Winnie the Pooh Eeyore and Piglet and Owl to get back the Childlike Wonder.

It has the animals return to Christopher Robin’s world to live among people.

It has Christopher Robin turn out to be a toy himself who teaches an actual Grizzly Bear to get back the Childlike Sense of Wonder.

It has a frame-picture paradox where Winnie the Pooh created Christopher Robin and Christopher Robin created Winnie the Pooh in some sort of timeless eternal present which I found Extremely Offensive.

There was a Really Offensive Part where after death Christopher Robin is greeted by Winnie the Pooh who leads him to a Hundred Acre Wood which is the Afterlife.

There was a horrible part where Eeyore is the body and Tigger is the soul and Christopher Robin is forced to choose between them.

It suggested that Winnie the Pooh was a mental defective which was also Highly Offensive.

It suggested that the animals also had other animals that were Secret Animals who gave them their Childlike Sense of Wonder but this could never be shown in the film.

There were gaps in the film during which people in masks came from behind the screen and made certain Gestures over my head, which I found Highly Offensive.

I had a dream that Winnie the Pooh came home from the theater with me and made certain other offensive gestures and chrissoms of oil on my forehead which were Highly Offensive.

It was a terrible film. It is not something i would want to see again AT ALL


2 thoughts on “Christopher Robin

  1. POOH Grinch! I have already watched “Christopher Robin” movie and I consider that it is a lovely side of the story with a high grade of tenderness and philosophy about most important life issues.

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