Feces Man

There was once a man made entirely of feces who would run around causing problems.   He would hide behind bushes and run out and kiss women but then say “Gross their mouths have feces on them!” and slap them.  He snuck in the palace and sat on the throne and  said “Look at me!  I’m on a throne!”  But everyone said  “Yuksters!  That throne has a feces man on it.” and he raged like the dickens and sprayed all and sundry with feces.    Eventually we scrubbed him away and as we did so he yelled “Look at them!  They’re as dirty as me!  They are all touching feces!”  One guy said when feces man had finally been washed away he looked in the drain and found a piece of paper that said “Son you are no better than a piece of —” here an indelicate word for “feces” – “love, Dad.”   Who knows if a note can make a man first believe he is feces and then become it but that night we each gave  our kids an extra hug.


4 thoughts on “Feces Man

  1. Not exactly the same thing, but it reminded me of this:


    Where are we, Doctor?


    The planet Terserus. Once home to the Terserons, the most kindly and peace-loving race I’ve ever encountered — and yet, the most shunned and abhorred species in all history.




    They could communicate only by precisely-modulated gastric emissions.


    Oh, no. Planet of the Bottom-Burps. So what happened to them?


    They discovered fire.

  2. Curious, though – no hug for feces man. Like…he’s done, just hug your own kids. Maybe it wasn’t so much the dads note as that everyone else just gave up that was the real note he received?

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