Don’t Feel Bad, Wittgenstein, You Did the Best You Could!

“What are you thinking about, Wittgenstein, philosophy or your sins?” asked the seductive and handsome Lord Russell.  “Both.” said the Austrian.  He was excited by the young Englishman’s mind and his body, and he felt somehow wrong — he had inherited so much money and didn’t know what to do with it, and sure he was clever, but what was cleverness at the end of your life, it was so confusing.  Later in his life he was working on a book — he was an English citizen now, and he had finally made love with a man, his Scottish lover, and he had gotten to know himself better, but now he was ill, and he was falling asleep.  And he saw his grandfather Mayer, and he saw his second cousin, who had not changed his name, but had like his father gone to the United States, but unlike his father had remained there and gone into the nascent movie business and achieved success: Louis B. Mayer, and whose studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer was symbolized by a roaring lion.  I once thought that if a lion could speak I could not understand him but of course I can.  What was I thinking said Ludwig Wittgenstein, but really Lou Mayer to the other Lou Mayer.  And the children came in to both Louie’s and took them by the hand, dandeliions behind their ears, grass stains on their skirts.  “Don’t feel bad, Louie! ” they said “You did the best you could.  You did the best you could!”

“You know Louie” said the Austrian Louie to the American “I believe we did.”




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