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Gods of Confusion

Honestly my parents were hard-working and good people but very sad, very beaten by life and not ones to give me a crisp explanation.  Not of life, not of anything.  Don’t tell a lie, sure but why not, get a job, but why, not quite “just because” but not much more than it either.  If you’ve ever experienced that I think you know.

So I went to the school and they explained it to me.  God of birth, god of death.  God of now, god of yesterday, god of tomorrow.  God of love god of parting.  Did the gods create being, or did being create the gods?  Artemius of Sha said one thing, Dilododoskorus of Premee says the other.  The fractal texture of the soul’s armor, the diaphanousness of epiphany and vice versa.  I learned it all.

I learned it all.  But I didn’t believe it.  Not really.  The other students who came from normal homes believed it.  They were grateful to the teachers for teaching them.  But me although I wanted the teachers to understand that I understood it, thought on some level it was a joke a big game.  I could say those things, but I knew I was just saying them.

I spoke to my teacher once when he was quite an old man and I told him that.  By that time I didn’t really care if anybody thought I was dumb or smart.  He said “You’re confused.  That’s just an epiphany of the god of confusion.  It all seems fake. That’s an epiphany of the god of it all seems fake.”

But — obviously — I didn’t believe that either.  I think I believe in the texture of my life.  I think I believe from that texture thin or thick, torn or sure, the gods are woven along with me.

Maybe I’ll start a school!

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8 thoughts on “Gods of Confusion

    • Thanks! Oh, btw, I really hope that all the likes here are not too much of a pain. They are half ‘thank you so very much’ half ‘this is too good to be read only once’. Actually, they are much more ‘loves’ than ‘likes’, but they’ll have to do — for now.

    • Even hearing you say that doesn’t make it obvious to me. Also, if you highlight everything, you highlight nothing, right? But that said, have I mentioned that I love Zombie College, and Love me Cat, and… See what I mean? 😊

  1. I’m under the impression that my comments on this blog may have been inappropriate or even offensive to you as a person. I felt in love with the art and could not separate the art from the artist. If my assumtion is correct, and you felt offended or even just uncomfortable in an ambigous way, please kindly accept my apologies. I’ll unfollow the blog to make sure not force my presence on you. I wish you infinite happiness and well being.

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