Why was he like that? I’ll tell you, and I won’t even say “promise not to judge!” as people do. You judge all you want!
Back when everything went to shit he was on a city street after dark and the ghouls got him and kept him in one of their chambers, for like a long time. And these ghouls after they killed him a whole bunch of times, and made him have sex with all kinds of things you are NOT supposed to have sex with (robots, children, gods, animals, his own dead self, his own children’s dead selves, moms and dads etc.) they built him up into this sort of flesh-goo, and the flesh-goo never ever took responsibility for anything! That was the whole idea! It just goo-ed along and squazzed up out of the pipes but it never said “I’m goo! I’m gooing along! I’m squazzing up out of the pipes!”. It just did it. And that’s how the ghouls got their kicks, sort of spraying or squozzing or squeezing this guy all over the place.
They squozzed him at their dances!
They squozzed him at their festivals!
They sold him by the tube in health food stores!
They sold him byt he tub in country fairs.
They hid him in bladders, balloons and pustules and BLAP! out he burst.
So naturally when things started to settle down the Department gathered him up, and cleaned him out, and took out the organelles from his cells
(The GHOOULISH ORGANELLES!)
and put a frame together and grew him in a vat and gave him a job and gave him a blog and gave him emails from three lovely potential girlfriends in his in box.
But he’s pretty strange!
And I say– judge away!