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Stuttering, Tics, Forgetting, Fluency

I used to stutter and have always sought to achieve greater fluency in speech, in my connection with other people, and in my connection with It All.  I want to thank teachers and friends who have been patient with my arhythmia because the more I practice talking in a situation in which I feel that my conversation partner actually wants to hear what I want to say the more fluent I become; now — right now — it occurs to me that there are things we do because we want to, like going to the store, and things we do involuntarily, like secreting stomach juice, but that the really interesting things that make us who we are, that provide the seafloor over which the currents of our thoughts and feelings and wishes flow are neither voluntary nor involuntary: they are like stuttering, or not stuttering, like having a Tourette’s tic or not having a Tourette’s tic, like paying attention and ignoring, like forgetting and remembering, because when stutterers sing we forget we are stutters and do not stutter.  May God and life and all of you reading and everyone who chooses to speak with me today or interact in any way grant me the ability to forget the nightmare that burdens me that I am cut-off from the world and other people and let me experience a fluent and rhythmic relationship to it all.

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