Response to a Friend Worried About Death

You are worried that your consciousness will come to an end.  This assumes that you are identified with your consciousness; that there is some thing that you are; that it is your consciousness, and it will end.

Here is another way of looking at it.

There is a process and one of the results of the process is your identification with your current consciousness and its fear of extinction.  It didn’t have to be that way and it doesn’t have to continue to be that way.  The process can unfold in other ways and it is continuing to unfold.

You are not the current state of the process.  If you are anything you are where the process is headed.

You are not a complete thing that you worry understandably will end.  You are an incomplete process that you could not stop even if you wanted to.  The disease is not death, the disease is the notion that you are currently a completed thing that could die.

Why do I think you and I are a process that is unfolding rather than a thing?

We do not own or control or thoughts or emotions or feelings.  They unfold whether we like them or not.

We do not have our identities given to us but assert them in every moment.

We feel radically incomplete.  Our nature is yearning and love and need, not self-containment.

Every day we fall asleep and wake up with a new day.

Every moment we forget so much and fail to understand so much.

We are much more failure, brokenness, and striving than we are completeness and success.

Death is our friend.  Every moment we are letting go of everything that doesn’t belong to us any more so we can receive the new and become what we are.

We don’t need to fear death because we have not yet been born.



25 thoughts on “Response to a Friend Worried About Death

  1. Thank you so much for this. Perfect timing as my father, Charlie Tuna (DJ), recently passed. I have been a fan of your writing here and in your various ventures for a long time and continue to be. Many thanks.

  2. 💜…I remember before my Psych PhD Mom transitioned we had a conversation about what it meant to leave one’s earth-suit and she said “loss is illusory because nothing in the universe disappears it only changes form!”

    Then she said “do me a favor and become a die-to-every-moment you’ve been alive & every moment you haven’t lived Waking Dreamer.” She passed a few days later and our last words before her choir performed with Barbara Streisand were “I love you!”😎

    …how are you feeling today E?

      • 🙏…feeling spiritually: grateful, physically: cheerful & mentally I’m enjoying my friend, Marianne Williamson’s, farewell ACIM talk right now at the Saban theater in Beverly Hills😎

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts & ideas with the world (or as the grandfather of my friend might say “thanks for being the change”)

      • 💚💙…(coming straight from the Heart)

        Thank you Lisa😎I’m so happy that my mom’s words get to live on by you reading & replying to them (her favorite colors were green & blue so I made the beginning of this post special for you)

        …thanks for the role you played Eric🙏

  3. Gina Victorino says:

    I truly believe death is the end of the trial and real life begins. This is why in a dream state death usually means birth of a child. 😊

      • Ethical Excrementalist says:

        Notes on Defining a Scategorical Imperative

        I want all epidermises to be free of fecal contaminants, and

        realizing that not all individuals are capable of wiping themselves at given times or at all,

        I will make myself available to wipe excrement from the epidermises of those for whom wiping it themselves may be problematic or impossible, to the extent that such activities do not unduly impinge upon my personal interests.

      • Ethical Excrementalist says:

        I can’t help it! I get it from my Prostatant upbringing. Thank *you* for your inspiration…

        “You are the wind beneath my wings.”

  4. My fear is not the actual dying. There are experiences, places and people that I will never exprience again as “Lisa”. Will I even care once I am dead? No . But leading up to it, I sincerecly hope I have a clarity and dignity to not obsess about it.

  5. My Mom said “Cry at births and Rejoice at funerals”.
    Be assured. Whatever comes after our death will be a much easier time – – than the years we’ve spent here since our birth.

    My kids are great. They said Mum, we love you so much, so don’t ever worry about what we’ll do with you if you get goofy or fall and break something. When that day comes you’re soooo outta’ here…… straight to the home”. I think they meant it. 🙂

    Talk about these things with your family before a crisis arises. Death doesn’t always happen soon enough. And sometimes death is delayed far too long.

  6. Eh, that just seems to be abstracting to the point you don’t even recognise yourself amongst the abstraction, so don’t recognise your death in it. Just seems distraction.

    Really we all speak the words of people long dead – those people left ripples and those ripples live on and through life create more ripples. You affect people, you live on in how you affected people. That’s not too bad a deal.

    But in the end it’s still like a library set on fire.

  7. For all the centuries, everything on earth, every drop of water, ounce of soil, every tree and plant, every bone, piece of flesh stayed here on Earth. It could be in a changed form, clouds, gasses, ashes, bodies to dust in the earth, in a constant circle of life and death. Nothing left our world and all life was dependent on all other life. Today that is no longer true.. We’ve broken through the bonds and have escaped the Earth. That is more frightening than my human death could ever be.

    – – – Some believe they are superior to other men or mere mortals, that they have a greater knowledge and purpose on Earth and they feel that enlightenment, spiritual teachings, altered states of conscience, drugs, or what other terms might be used, brings them or opens them to a greater knowledge of life and death. Why does having the ability to read a book about or listen to another mans thoughts, make their life more worthy or loftier than mine? Ultimately none of them has greater insight to what great reward, rebirth, punishment or total death, might be. The men who taught, and who wrote the books have died. We will also die. Sooner or later. No Worries. No matter how huge our arrogance and feelings of entitlement, we aren’t in control.

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