Rules on Truth: Notice to New Employees

We value candor second to nothing, and consider truth-telling the paramount virtue in an employee.  As has been stated clearly in previous versions of the Employee Manual of Practices “truth is an ornament to a middle manager, a health-giving tonic to a level 1 employee, and a pleasing fragrance to a CEO” [EMP, Version 1, introduction xi], “truth leads to knowledge, knowledge leads to action, action leads to acomplishment, accomplishment leads to profit [ EMP version 11, pp. 2-8, the Illustrated Codex] and “a truthful tongue has a value above rubies” [EMP, version 2187, conclusion, p. 2004812, section alpha].  Without a candid acknowledgment of each others failings and weaknesses it has been truly said how can we improve, the better to serve the company and have a lot of laughs and fun doing it?

It cannot be stressed overly much that Truth is to be required of all employees and in all circumstances.  Truth being the highest there is no reason to depart from truth for any reason. The following are some situations in which truth should be avoided.

1)A lower level employee may not speak a truth that causes a higher level employee a diminution in positive feedback in the eyes of a still higher level employee.

2)Two employees of equal level may not speak truths that cause one to believe the other believes he is higher than the first.

3)A truth may never be told that causes harm.

4)A truth may never be told when the recipient of the truth believes it is not true.

5)A truth may never be told that might cause the hearer to value himself less.

6)A truth may never be told that would cause discord, disharmony, enmity, ill-feeling or strife.

A proper attention to the Noble Six as these refinements of the rules for truth-telling were referred to in The Jeweled Ornament of Accomplishment by The Noble Manager of The Well-Administered Valley can best be obtained by the Well-Desired Three, these being

1)Never to allow oneself to think what pertains to an unspeakable truth

2)Never to allow oneself to hear what conduces to a true but unspeakable thought

3)Never distinguish between ideas the melding of which will allow a state of equanimity whereby truths that are unacceptable are either heard, thought, or spoken.

A proper acknowledgment of the beneficial nature of these practices enables one to respond appropriately.  For example:

Possessors of the Nightmare Gem should not allow themselves or others to know they possess it.  Possessors of any of the Eight Counterfeits of the Nightmare Gem may not distinguish themselves by marks which may serve to distnguish them from possessors of the True Nightmare Gem or those who possess no gem at all.

The Dance of the Humiliating Copulation is no longer performed in The Copy Room.  May all who successfully felt shame rejoice.  May all who have no reason to feel shame rejoice!  May all who cause shame, rejoice.

No one may go into The Copy Room.

Certain sentences may only be spoken with the right combination of colors: be they Gold by Black, Green by Gold, Red by Blue, but these combinations may no longer be vouchsafed save in mumbled voices during certain waking dreams which are available to those with a hall pass.

No one may attain a hall pass save by order of the CEO.

The CEO is dead.

The CEO is available in the Copy Room.

The Nightmare Gem has been recovered.

May all the Old Lies that lurk in the dark come into the light where they may be transformed into New Lies.

May those who are stupid learn to lie, and may those who lie learn to be stupid until there is no truth or lie or intelligence or stupidity but peace, and all shall report to each other that they exceed expectations for this period and for all periods, and for always, in all territories foreign and domestic, under all systems of law and of lawlessness, in death and life, in sickness and health, until success succeeds success

Ala Pala Sala


Sama Elpo Tom




3 thoughts on “Rules on Truth: Notice to New Employees

  1. N.S. Palmer says:

    Candor — isn’t that where Power Girl is from? Would I get in trouble if I honestly said that I prefer the Marvel universe (though I guess it’s more of a multiverse)?

    I’m iffy on Codex technology, but I have a Level 3 Certification for Scrolls and I can even sew the pages together.

    You said that no one may go into the copy room, but you didn’t forbid coming into the copy room. Of course, the latter might be humiliating if it led to 100 photocopies of someone’s backside circulating around the office. Not the first time that’s happened, I’m sorry to say.

    As for when to speak and when to remain silent, it’s hard to beat Taylor Swift’s advice: “I will speak ill of no one, and I will say all the good I can of everyone.” I think it was Taylor Swift. But honestly, I’m not sure. It was either Taylor Swift or Hari Seldon. I always get them mixed up.

  2. Mikey says:

    How much of the Rules on Truth is true? Which iteration of the Rules is this? Do the Rules ever stabilise or do they keep getting stranger with every refinement?

    • It seems they have been following the rules in this company for a very,very,very long time — generations — and since they say discourage clear thought the consequences for their intellectual culture have been poor. 7:05 am

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