Pooh Bear, Executioner

  1. Winnie the Pooh was a character created by A.A. Milne based upon a toy bear owned by his son Christopher Robin.  In his old age Christopher Robin spoke ambivalently of his father.  It seems the elder Milne was able to express emotion for his son in transposed literary fashion but was not actually interested in spending time with the real son.
  2. A distant lineal descendant of Christopher Robin, Dr. Lloyd Shermer was a victim of religious persecution in the early 22nd century.  Upon being defeated by his enemies he was given the option of choosing his mode of death.
  3. At the time of the events of (2) the catalog of the world’s fiction had been given a biological interface so it was possible for fictional characters to achieve flesh-and-blood existence.
  4. When it became clear he could not evade the Religious Police Dr. Shermer took refuge in a Biological Interface Facility.  Shrinking from death by torture he sought the least terrifying most comforting form of death he could imagine: asked to be killed by Winnie the Pooh.
  5. Pooh Bear refused to kill Dr. Shermer. “It just seems a dreadful bother to have to take a man’s life.” said Pooh Bear.  “I’d much rather go home and look and see if there is something a bit elevenish left at the bottom of the honey pot.”  And Pooh bear trundled off leading the old man to face death at the hands of his persecutors.
  6. In the early 2380s when the Shermerian movement gained intellectual and religious pre-eminence, it became impossible to read Winnie the Pooh’s original works “Winnie the Pooh” and “The House at Pooh Corner” in any other way as the story of the being who had refused comfort to the prophet Shermer and had condemned him to die at the hands of his torturers.  In this way Christopher Robin finally achieved revenge upon his father’s memory.  The pain that had been hidden under the sentimentality was patent for all to see.
  7. However who is to say that in this way Shermer did not ultimately perform the goal which God intended for him — to be an example of how to face death without any comfort beyond the memory of a life well-lived?
  8. And who is to say that God did not intend Pooh Bear to deny Shermer his comfort for precisely that reason?
  9. Silly old God!
  10. Silly old Bear!

4 thoughts on “Pooh Bear, Executioner

  1. Mikey says:

    My first reaction in their situation would be to rush off to the Biological Interface Facility and get a real-life version of Professor Farnsworth’s Fing-Longer. I wonder how much that would cost? I tried inventing my own version of it once, but it wasn’t very good.

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