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Inspector Malamute and the Case of the Ruined Chrysalises

Body death among humans was not rare as the young males competed for the attention of the vast, ancient Cnidarian Intelligences in outer space who cloned their DNA into eternal robots by performing the dangerous nude dances on the surface of an exploded star. One such body death had occurred to Publius Jovanicus when he tried to perform a dangerous maneuver upon the exterior of the transom and it had snapped crushing his brain. There were the usual points discovered from the score and then the family returned to its Bio Crypts to copy his memory from the Sphinx Moth chrysalises upon which his memory and personality was backed up, one yearly and also before such dangerous stunts as the Dances of Eternal Life. But they discovered that all twenty-nine chrysalises had been contaminated with ichneumon wasps — they were ruined and for the first time in a thousand years of human history a murder had taken place.

Who would do such a thing wondered Inspector Malamute, the most loyal hyper-canid on Earth’s vestigial police force. Malamute was unfailingly loyal to biological humans and their copies and how not — a loyalty program had been placed in his hyper-canid brain when he was still a puppy, and the notion of hurting humans filled him with rage causing uncontrollable spasms of furious barking. “Quiet down” said Lemur Joe his companion.

Centuries later when the case was solved it was determined that a malign mantid intelligence had been bred by Publius Jovanicus’s rival for the hand of a multi-dimensional time vortex named Cynthia and this mantid in turn had lain in wait and infected the hyper-canid bitch who had given birth to Inspector Malamute, and warped her to a tremendous rage against humankind. This rage had taken form within the hyper-canid’s Anima as Jung called it twenty-five million years earlier on Earth-Alpha. This figure of unconscious femaleness had pulled the strings of the dog’s incipient psycho-sexual identity, and turned his loyalty to its own sinister purposes, causing him to sniff PRECISELY THE WRONG scent trail upon pursuit of the smugglers of Modified Ichneumon Wasp eggs (a very dangerous weapon I hope you’ll agree in a society which preserves human identity by uploading it onto pupas!) and allowing the murder of Publius.

The hyper-canid was torn apart — metaphorically of course — his hyper-ness and loyalty and intelligence torn from his body which was allowed a dignified retirement chewing chew toys and playing ball with a collection of retarded raccoon gods on Alternative -Earth -Aztec Timeline – Gamma, while his loyalty was erased and his hyperness and personality was transferred to ME

HYPER-INSPECTOR CAT!

Meow!

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2 thoughts on “Inspector Malamute and the Case of the Ruined Chrysalises

  1. Mikey says:

    But what about the rival? It sounds like he really loved Cynthia. Did his petty but impressive peacock display work its charm on her? Were they happy together? Was this unnamed rival also multidimensional? And if so, what was he doing having a fourdimensional rival? Or was Publius multidimensional too? Oh, I get it, we all are. Yeah, I think I get it. So I guess they were happy together, even if they never met. Right?

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