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Do You Desire to Possess an Object or Do You Desire to be Desired?

It might change how you think about the goal of your life.

Is the goal of your life to obtain something or is it to receive a certain response?

Is your conception of the Good, something to experience and enjoy, or something to elicit a relationship with?

Is your life about obtaining desire or obtaining satisfaction?

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3 thoughts on “Do You Desire to Possess an Object or Do You Desire to be Desired?

  1. Many of the manifestation teachers say to you focus on having the FEELING you want associated with the object you desire. Since you know you want to be desired… that implies (to me) that a gap exists in your feeling that you deserve to be here. This is fairly common. Many people have similar hardwired beliefs (which are not your fault) such as “I am misconceived – I am not what they want.” My sense for you is that this belief was there at conception, coming in through mother’s family line, and was first “triggered” by your mother when you were about 16 months old. Then it has been triggered again and again (we are fractal beings) by people in “nourishing roles” where you can’t seem to get what you need from them. These experiences produce more “evidence” that the belief is “true” — that you are not what they want, that you are not “desired.” Having someone show up who DOES desire you unfortunately doesn’t change your belief — it just cushions it for a while. It will continue to be triggered, especially when you are stressed. That belief can be re-wired (transformed), but in the meantime, you can also cope with it better by first knowing it’s your own belief “coming true” — then choosing to interrupt those thoughts and feelings and instead feel gratitude for 1 or 2 people who HAVE helped you feel that they were happy with you .. that they enjoyed your presence. Another good way to cope with that hardwired belief (which actually helps to create the unsatisfactory experiences) is to write down your feelings about “not getting to feel desired” — and do this for 20 minutes, 4 days in a row. See what insights show up. Keep your goal that you want to heal up these feelings of hurt, anger, rage, shame, and disgrace associated with feeling “not desired.” This will help free up your potential for getting more of what you want.

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