Esau’s Journey

Have you ever heard the story about Jacob and Esau the night before Jacob stole his brother’s blessing?
Esau looked over to his brother who was shaving, in order to be smooth, since naturally they were identical twins, and got annoyed. “Why do you always have to pretend to be so much better than you are in front of Dad?” Jacob said “I’ll tell you why. Did you know that Grandpa Abraham once tried to kill Dad? I don’t want that to happen to me. So I am behaving myself.” “That’s a lie!” said Esau and slapped his brother. “Oh, yeah?” said Jacob. “Ask Grandpa yourself.” Esau traveled to the tent of his Grandpa Abraham and told him the story. “Is it true.” “It’s true.” said Abraham. “Ever since I left my father’s house I have been listening to the voice of God. If he tells me to kill, I will kill. As it happens that day he told me not to kill my son, but to kill a sheep instead.” From that day on Esau resolved to be a hunter of animals. He left, heavy of heart. Grandma Sarah said “Esau if you want to understand your grandfather talk to his father, your great-grandfather, Terach. He lives in Ur.” Esau rode his horse through the night and got to Ur in the dawn hour. The old man said “Yes, yes, yes. I had a store with images of the divine. One day I came in and my son and had destroyed them all and placed a hammer in the hand of one of them. “Look, father.” he said his voice bitter with mockery “The big god killed the small ones.” “Son, those are not supposed to kill, they are supposed to focus the mind and help people get through life. He said to me “A god who can’t bring death can’t bring life either.” And he left. “I’m not surprised that god almost made my son kill my grandson. Avram went looking for blood.”
Esau sat on a hill in Ur watching the sun come up. “Why? Why” he asked the city, asleep save for a couple of dogs fighting over scraps. “Why” Esau asked the dawn. He heard a voice. It said “Before I made this world I made a world and destroyed it.” “You mean the Flood” asked Esau, who had heard the stories from the grim Seth. “No.” said the voice “Before the first day. I made whole universes. Universe after universe. World after world. And not like Flood. Worse. I destroyed them utterly, down to the last person, the last animal, the last blade of grass.” “Don’t you feel sorry?” Esau asked God “Of course. What father can kill his children and not blame himself?”
“How can I help you?” Esau asked. But the voice said no more.
That day Esau returned to his brother and sold his birthright for a bowl of lentils. “You can be the good boy, Jacob.” he told his brother “I want to help bear the guilt of God.”


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