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Why There are Two Sexes: A Pawnee Myth

When coyote made man there were three sexes: man, woman and shoggoth. The man would put his seed in the shoggoth and the woman would put her egg in the shoggoth and the shoggoth would roll around and that was how you made a baby, back then, in the old days. Man was smart like today, woman was smart like today, but shoggoth it was stupid. Man would yell at shoggoth and woman would yell at shoggoth but shoggoth was always hard to please. They didn’t give shoggoth good food. Either they would make the shoggoth live in some kind of dirty cave or they would marry it, but the man and woman would make the shoggoth do all the cooking and do all the cleaning and not treat it with any respect. When the baby was born the shoggoth would feed it with a special mucus that came out of its head for a year till it walked, and then man and woman would be the parents and the shoggoth would hide in the back, till man and woman wanted to make love again and then they would say “hey shoggoth! let’s make love!” and they would tempt it out of its hole in the ground with special sweets and flowers. Finally shoggoth had enough it ran way. Man and woman got in a fight. Shoggoth came to woman and said let’s gang up on the man. That worked for a little while then woman and shoggoth got in a fight and man came to shoggoth and said “Let’s you and me team up and we will make slave the woman.” and that worked for a while. Finally man and woman got sick of shoggoth and they tore it in two and man took half and made it his ding-dong and woman made her half into her vulva and then they could maek love and make babies just their twosome without the shoggoth. But ever since then they’ve been a little guilty about sex, cause of what bad thing they did, back in the old days, to poor old shoggoth.

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