Sometime we give them paper in the treatment center and one of the kids wrote a play. I tis called Joseph and Eddie.
JOSEPH AND EDDIE
Eddie: Joseph, this is going to be your home.
Eddie: There is a bad for you to sleep in. And there is the nipple for you to eat from!
Joseph: Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Eddie: But there is the retarded lady and you should not have sex wit her. Do you get it?
The BAZZERCAN comes up from his hole.
BAZZERCAN: Why do you even give him that to look at!
Eddie: I trust him you bizzercan of a bazzercan!
Bazzercan: Why do you even make him? Why do you not kill that retard girl — you forgot to put a brain in her, you dummy.
Eddie: Don’t you call me, dummy Bazzercan or I’ll hit you with the stick!
EDDIE HITS BAZZERCAN WITH THE STICK. HE DOESN’T NOTICE THAT JOSEPH IS HAVING SEX WITH THE DUMB GIRL.
Joseph: Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh!
Dumb Girl: Eeee oh! Eee oh! Ee oh!
Bazzercan: Eddie you are a dummy you are hitting me with the stick when you should be hitting that dummy Joseph!
Eddie: Joseph! Joseph! What are you doing!
HE HITS HIM WITH THE STICK. HITS HIM AGAIN. REALLY HARD. HE DISENGAGES.
Eddie: Joseph! Why do you do things that are wrong? I appeal to your inherent nobility! I appeal to your indwelling wisdom! If you learn to adapt yourself to the civilized society of this asteroid you will have numerous sophisticated pleasures at your disposal. Do you understand?
Joseph: Yes. Yes I do. I’m sorry.
Eddie: Good. Now go to sleep and tomorrow you can get up early and I will teach you the guitar.
Eddie exits to the other side of the asteroid. Joseph immediately starts humping the retarded girl. Suddenly there’s a volcano. Eddie bursts out of it holding the stick and starts beating Joseph with it.
Eddie: Joseph! Ah-ah!
Joseph: OW! OW! OW!
Mute Girl: Wo wo wo.
END OF ACT ONE