Master Skeleton, the Subtle Gem

Dining with the Skeleton King I asked him who his favorite skeleton was.  

“My answer I think will surprise you.”

“Do tell” was my response.  “Don’t presume to know what will or will not surprise me, but say what you wish to say, and observe whether I am surprised or no.”

“Very well” replied the Skeleton King “My favorite skeleton is the skeleton of the comedian George Lopez.”

“Why is that?” I inquired.

“The skeleton of George Lopez serves to support his body within a gravitational field.  Without it he would flop down like the veriest CNIDARIAN or JELLY-FISH.  As it does, other than THE TEETH it does its work UNSEEN and UNHERALDED.  it does not call attention to itself by DANCING IN GRAVEYARDS IN A DANS MACABRE or by GRABBING A SWORD And doing BATTLE with Jason and his Argonauts.  It is subtle, like the subtle gem in my storehouses whose FULL FAITH AND ASSURANCE gives value to the currency of my realm.”

“That is why it is wonderful.  That is why it is Great.  And that is why it is, of all Skeletons, my Royal Favorite.”

The Bony King though icy as the grave was growing quite heated with the force of his own prose; he quaffed wine from a golden cub and it spattered down his empty mandibles and onto the table we shared.  I regarded him evenly.

“Sure” I said “But your argument, poetical and profound though it may be, calls attention to the excellency of all skeletons within living human beings.  You have given no reason, no reason at all for preferring the skeleton of Mr. George Lopez to any of the other five billion odd skeletons right now supporting living frames of flesh and blood on this planet.”

The Skeleton King paused and looked at me.  Within each dusky orbit I could see an infinitesimal point of demonic fire.

“You know,” he said “I hadn’t thought of that.”


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